A close friend who is a first-time mom messaged me on Facebook last week, amazed how hubby and I managed to raise 2 kids under 7 with no help while keeping full time jobs and still be sane. And to think that another one is coming in a couple of months.
Wow. Hearing our current situation described, makes even me wonder, how the hell we’re surviving?
While composing my response, my life for the past 6 years flashed by me. Monotonous, repetitive and at times boring. Endless sleepless nights of burping, milk feeding, diaper changing. Long, tiresome days filled with vomits, boogers and boo-boos. Constant barrages of mommy this and mommy that. Months of non-existent sexy times. Rare but heart-wrenching episodes of self doubts (Am I doing enough for the kids? my husband? myself?).
ALL OF A SUDDEN, I WANTED TO SEND HER A LITANY OF MY MOMMY WOES.
How broken-hearted I was the first time I breastfed my eldest and I had no milk. How terrified I was to bathe her on my own that I was only able to do it when she was already a month old. How I cried every time she’ll cry at night waking the whole neighborhood and I had no idea how to make her stop. How I longed for my casual dalaga days when I can just go out and get a
beer shot of tequila anytime I wanted to. How scared I was looking at our non-existent bank account wondering how it’s going to tide us over until the next paycheck.
But then I caught glimpse of my phone’s wallpaper and that familiar sadness creeping through my chest vanished.
I remembered the first time my kids called me mamay. Their triumphant smiles on their first steps. Our early morning cuddles. Their sloppy wet kisses and tight hugs. My pride when Cesca memorized her first poem. Our Sunday breakfasts. Our hushed pinky promises. Their never ending kwentos. Holding hands with hubby on our once in a blue moon dates. My kids being smart and healthy. I may have cried a lot of tears but I also smiled a thousand smiles. My life may not be perfect but I am beyond blessed.
I took a deep breath and replied to my friend. I remembered myself 6 years ago, falling into a routine of taking care of my newborn kid, very lonely, wishing I had someone to talk to. And I’m very fortunate to have a friend then who listened and gave me encouragements.
And now I owe it to my friend to be that friend to her.